I’m not here on a spitball scholarship

From: The Scorpion’s Tale
Season 22, Episode 15

I am not allergic to long division

From: The Great Wife Hope
Season 21, Episode 3

I am not an FDIC-insured bank

From: I Don’t Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Season 19, Episode 4

I am not smarter than the President

From: Homer’s Paternity Coot
Season 17, Episode 10

I am not Charlie Brown on acid

From: The Blunder Years
Season 13, Episode 5

I am not the acting President

From: Lisa the Tree Hugger
Season 12, Episode 4

I am not here on a fartball scholarship

The-Simpsons-s11e19 - Kill the Alligator and Run

From: Kill the Alligator and Run
Season 11, Episode 19

I am not the last Don

The-Simpsons-s11e03 - Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner

From:  Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner
Season 11, Episode 3

I am not a licensed hairstylist


From: Homer Simpson in Kidney Trouble
Season 10, Episode 8

I am not the new Dalai Lama

The-Simpsons-[09x24]-Lost Our Lisa

From: Lost Our Lisa
Season 9, Episode 24

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