I will not replace a candy heart with a frog’s heart

From: The Daughter Also Rises
Season 23, Episode 13

I will not ridicule teacher’s Final Four bracket

From: Love Is a Many Strangled Thing
Season 22, Episode 17

I will not make fun of Cupid’s dink

From: The Blue and the Gray
Season 22, Episode 13

I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy

From: Father Knows Worst
Season 20, Episode 18

I will not mock teacher’s outdated cell phone

From: The Good, The Sad, and The Drugly
Season 20, Episode 17

I will not have fun with educational toys

From: No Loan Again, Naturally
Season 20, Episode 12

I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard

From: Lisa the Drama Queen
Season 20, Episode 9

I will not bring the chalkboard home

From: Mypods and Boomsticks
Season 20, Episode 7 (couch gag)

I will not wait 20 years to make another movie

From: He Loves to Fly and He D’oh’s
Season 19, Episode 1

Pearls are not oyster barf

From: Stop Or My Dog Will Shoot
Season 18, Episode 20

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