I will never lie about being cancelled again

From: The Sweetest Apu
Season 13, Episode 19

I will stop phoning it in

The-Simpsons-s11e11 - Faith Off

From: Faith Off
Season 11, Episode 11

I will only do this once a year

The-Simpsons-7x10-The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular

From: The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular
Season 7, Episode 10

I will remember to take my medication

The-Simpsons-[06x17]-Homer vs. Patty & Selma

From: Homer vs. Patty & Selma
Season 6, Episode 17

I will never win an Emmy

The-Simpsons-[05x01]-Homer's Barbershop Quartet

From: Homer’s Barbershop Quartet
Season 5, Episode 1